I cannot write my thoughts in Russian, cause it makes me feel too weak, so I'm gonna do it in English.
Last couple weeks I feel like I'm missing something important. Like I'm wasting my time, losing myself. It's not enough just to think about it anymore. I'm simply suffocating in my own head. I was trying to comprehend lots of things for the last days, but I have only one thing that has to be said: There's no more place to keep all my demons inside of me. They're knocking me off my feet. Fucking pantomime. And I don't know for how long will it be possible to hold them. Am I strong enough to deal with them? I can't be sure anymore. My weeping wounds will never heal.
And i was scared for so long, that I'm not afraid anymore. I must find energy to fight with all my fears and the devil inside of me, cause I think that it's time he should fuck off. I really was having fun dancing with the devil in the details, but it's gone too far and now I know that we have to say goodbye and never meet again.
I'm gonna remember this times, I'll never forget the way he grins and his charming and shiver making moves.